This is a hard one. This concept of releasing and surrendering and allowing the natural cycles to sometimes take away the very things you have created and are wedded to.
And lately I’m noticing that so much of the work I do is about deconstructing. I help tear apart old beliefs, old identities, and even, old or outdated business models of the clients I’m blessed to work with.
Maybe it’s because we are all experiencing so much change on a global level, but this theme of letting go just keeps coming, so I thought I’d write about it.
I’ll talk about the things you must let go of if you are to be successful in your biz.
1. Playing small. No doubt about it…having a business (if your you are a heart centered entrepreneur) can be like friggin sand paper. All those places where you may have wanted to hide out will come flying to the surface to be released. IF you know you are in business to work out your soul’s mission – you will be called to play a bigger game. More leadership, more courage, more risk, and more of you on the line. Scary shit! But it’s real. It’s true, and it’s where you are meant to be.
I could never have imagined years ago when I was ‘just a therapist’ that today I’d have thousands of people following me, listening to me, entrusting their lives and businesses to me and expecting me to play a bigger game. No, that NEVER entered my mind. But I was lead to take the small steps away from being a therapist, into the world of coaching, and speaking, and leading. Small, baby steps. Because trust me….if we were shown the WHOLE path, and what it would take… no one would say yes! Ever. So we are shown the next small step. Just say yes. You are being called by LIFE to be more. And your business will at times bring you to your knees in order to serve that, so know it’s all normal and you are on the right path.
2. Wanting people to like you. Oh, this one is a biggie. AND one that you must get over. Leaders lead. Followers wait because they don’t have the courage to be out front and sometimes taking the hits. We (particularly women) have been trained to please and play nice. But if you really want to grow in your biz, this pattern of wanting to be the prom queen has to change. (See the theme here? The theme being that you will experience tremendous personal growth on this entrepreneurial journey.)
3. Unrealistic loyalty. This one is somewhat related to #2, but it looks a bit different. At times we give our word to things that later on we realize we can no longer keep. I’m not saying to blow off agreements, but always ask yourself if you’d choose this today.
Example – chatting with a colleague who was in a quandry about what to do because someone she was dealing with wasn’t keeping their agreement. She was being unrealistically loyal until I pointed out really how disrespectful the other person was being. But her loyalty was preventing her from seeing that she was really being devalued. Bottom line – grown ups get to change our minds. What you said yes to 3 years ago may have been a great deal, but if the partnership or arrangement doesn’t fit the you you are today….you have to get out of it.
4. An old business model. This is my fun little playground! So often clients come in and the ‘old’ them has set up how they do their business. They are working with clients they aren’t enjoying, giving less than stellar service, and frankly….resenting the whole thing. But because of #2 and #3 patterns, they have a very hard time releasing the old to reinvent something new. Working with a client today was so satisfying because she was willing to completely surrender the ’2 years ago version’ of her model to really work with who she has grown into today. She ‘fired’ her clients and is getting crystal clear on the new way she wants to work. And guess what? She’ll be happier, make more money, make a bigger difference, and have so much more fun doing it! But first comes the letting go of the old.
5. Pricing that no longer serves you. And of course this letting go process is going to show up in the financial area as well. I did a fabulous 3-blog series about how not raising your fees can cause you to actually resent your clients. You’ll want to read that here because it’s true! But what I know is this…when you start valuing yourself more and see the results your clients are getting, you HAVE to be paid more. You can’t do your great work in the world and serve the people you are to serve if there is a disconnect in your fees. Clients don’t feel good paying it, you probably hate charging it, but it’s necessary to LET GO of the fear of asking for more money. You must stand in a place of value to be a value. Get it?
Now it’s your turn. Tell me about the letting go process and how it’s worked for you.
And thanks for reading!