If money was looking for shelter from the storm, would you be a reliable source of support and protection?
When it comes to money, are you safe from injury or error? Is it safe for you to make mistakes?
When we aren’t safe, we shut down. We learn denial, defiance, accommodation, or other strategies to minimize anxiety and fear. And when anxiety or fear is reduced, we relax until we feel threatened again.
It’s a crummy way to run a relationship.
Dealing with money is risky
The reality is that there is risk involved in our relationships with money. A few of the things at risk are:
- Relationships with other people
So what does safety mean in a relationship with money?
Safety means it’s okay to make mistakes
When you’re in a safe relationship it’s okay to make mistakes. You don’t need to get everything right. Mistakes are part of learning. Instead of proving your limitations, they are steppingstones to the future.
- What would change if you were to let go of a past mistake about money?
- What would change if you were to let go of someone else’s mistake?
Safety means it’s okay to ask for what you want
In a safe relationship it’s okay to ask for what you want. You can hear both yes and no with equanimity. You can say yes and no to the other person with an open heart.
- What would you ask for today if you weren’t afraid of hearing no?
- How would change things if you were to say no with an open heart?
Safety means freedom to change
When a relationship is safe, you’re free to grow and change. You can try on new ideas, new ways of being. You aren’t defined by or limited to your past preferences, habits, or desires.
- What would make it safe for reivention?
- Who would you like to be “when you grow up”?
You get to choose
You have a lot of latitude in your relationship with money. After all, money is inanimate. You are the defining partner, the one with the power to make it safe for you and money to hang out together.
What will it take?
What’s your first step?